Every child is going to be different.  Just because your first child is calm and easy doesn't mean the second one will be.  This doesn't mean the difficult child is not as good as the first.  There may be reasons for the challenges.  Some things that may be the cause of their difficulty may include, sleeping, eating, or toileting problems.  Further, there may be sensory integration disorders that distort our vision of who they truly are.  Other problems could be unfamiliar people around them or they are in unfamiliar places.  They may be slow to adapt to changes in their routine or environment.  Remember to look for any causes for the difficult behavior.  You likely will find more success by treating the cause than by getting angry at the result of the cause.

When working with challenging children consider a few things.

 - Be flexible in what you expect especially if your child has any delays, medical problems, or learning difficulties.
 - Follow your child's lead.  Find out their interests and those things that have meaning to them.  They are more likely to respond to you if they believe you are interested in them.
 - Prepare your child for things that may be changing.  Talk about it in advance and give them frequent reminders that in five minutes the toys needs to be put away... four more minutes and the toys are going to bed... three more minutes...etc.
 - Think about how your child may react to something.  If you know how they are going to act in a particular situation, let them know what is coming.  Talk about it.  Prepare them for what is coming and make plans on how to distract them from reacting as they have done in the past.  You may even ask them what they think should be done.  Choices are very important for children to make.
 - Practice patience and see the positive.
 - If needed, seek help.  Family members and friends are good sources of help to provide a break or assistance.  You may consider asking a doctor for suggestions or contact an early intervention center to help provide you ideas and support.

Helping children have a better self concept will create a more successful adult.  Choices and consequences to those choices invite thinking.  When a child feels that others believe they can make a choice, it motivates positive self thoughts and self esteem.