Help Stop the Biting

Biting – Ouch

                Biting is one of those behaviors that many children experiment with.  It is also a behavior that no one likes.  If your child is biting, there is always a reason.  And, if you want to eliminate the behavior, understanding the reason is a great help.

                Children bite in order to deal with a situation or to fulfill a need.  This may be that they feel threatened, it may be a way to express their frustration, perhaps it is an explanation that someone is too close in their personal space, or maybe they are fulfilling a need for oral stimulation.  The first way to reduce and eliminate biting is to understand the cause.

                It can also be broken down farther.  Consider the following possibilities.

Are they lacking language skills to express their frustration? 

Are they overly tired? 

Are they teething?

Are they overwhelmed by too many people, too much noise, bright lights, etc.?

Are they bored and experimenting with a new sensation?

There are many possible reasons and they may not always be easy to identify.  You may also consider who your child is biting; is it everyone or only certain people?  Is it only in defense or for no apparent cause?

If you have an idea why the biting occurs, it can be more easily dealt with.  If you are having problems identifying the cause, track the behavior.  Have a notebook handy and write down every time your child bites, the circumstances around it, and any identifying details.

Once you identify the reason, you can help.  If it is because they don’t like people in their personal space, remind the child to move or to have them ask the intruder to step back. 

Often times it is related to sharing.  If this is the case, you could use a timer and help each child

understand that when the timer goes off, it is time to give their friend a turn.

                When possible, make sure there is more than one favorite toy available.

                If needed, avoid having certain coveted toys around with groups of children. 

                If biting is due to an oral stimulation they are attempting to fulfill, provide something for them to bite that will not be negatively affected by biting it; such as a teething ring or other type of appropriate toy.  Provide snacks that give them oral stimulation such as crunchy foods or a small amount of peanut butter that makes them work it in their mouths.  (Not too much that it chokes them.  Take caution regarding allergies).

                When you notice a situation escalating or you see the signs of an eminent bite soon to happen, intervene.  Give your child a choice of options you are ok with that would distract or satisfy the impending bite.  For example: your child is starting to fight with another child over a toy.  Experience tells you he/she is about to bite.  You could get their attention and offer a choice – “Do you want to play in the kitchen with your dolly for a few minutes or would you rather sit by me until you feel happy again?”  At first they may not respond, but with consistency they will get the message that you will take action if they don’t decide.  If needed, remove your child until they calm down.

                Remain in control of your own emotions.  If the bite occurs before you have a chance to stop it, avoid aggression, yelling or anger.  Have a word or phrase that you use consistently to let your child understand you are not pleased with the action they took.  Remove your child to a safe place and allow them to stay until they have calmed down.  Once calm, allow an extra 3-4 minutes for them to think about what happened.  There is no use talking to them about it.  They know what they did.

                Consistency is the key.  If they realize what is going to happen every time they bite, they will think first.               

                Perhaps you believe it is because they become overwhelmed with their environment.  If they are biting because they are over stimulated by bright lights or too many people, avoid those situations as much as possible.  Provide situations for your child to play with children one on one and in comfortable locations for them.

                Try to schedule play activities or public activities around your child’s best time of day when they are well rested and well fed. 

                If language is a possible barrier, help your child learn simple sign language to express frustration and seek help.

                If your child is experimenting to see what happens, help them to understand cause and effect.  Give attention to the child who was bitten and help your child understand that they are crying because the bite hurts.  We don’t bite because it hurts.

                Make sure your child is getting plenty of activity to meet their needs.  If they are biting because they need more happening in their day, provide opportunities for them to get plenty of play and exercise in so they don’t feel they need to fulfill a physically active requirement. 

                Always remain in control of your own emotions.  Avoid criticizing or belittling your child.  Praise them when they do a good job to avoid biting. 

I hope this helps.  Give some of the above ideas a try and let me know how they work for you.  Good Luck!